Upon meeting someone for the first time one of the questions that is asked is what do you do? The answer is generally the name of their occupation, teacher, lawyer, etc. When speaking to an acquaintance a typical question is how are you? The answer generally- fine, great, alright etc.  These answers never really tell the whole story.

What if the answer to “what do you do?” was, “I work all day long for a lot (or a little) money, I hate the work and the people I work with. Or, the answer to “how are you?” was “terrible, I have a backache, my dog ran away and somebody rear-ended me”. If those were the kind of answers received would we still want to ask the questions?

I would and we should, but I would like to have the answers to be truthful.  When asking prepare to hear the truth, no matter how beautiful, no matter how ugly. When answering don’t front if you woke up feeling like a truck just ran over you, just say so. I believe that if we start telling the truth in response to the simplest questions and listen with empathy, sans judgment,  our ability to answer, live through and overcome the tough questions and tough times is greatly improved. That improvement leads to growth and that growth and the lessons learned in it can be shared.

How do you know when you’ve had enough? A point of satiety is reached. You could have a little bit more, but that extra bit won’t give you any more satisfaction. I have gone past enough into too much many times, you probably have too. Sitting at the thanksgiving table and eating until moving is impossible, that’s too much.  Standing in front of a closet full of clothes but can’t find anything to wear, that’s too much.  Looking at something for so long that what made sense in the beginning, no longer makes sense, that’s too much.

Reaching and living in enough is challenging, because we are surrounded by too much.  Enough may require some elimination, in some instances it requires a lot of elimination.  However the oft said word mindfulness is the key. Mindfulness coupled with patience and taking your time helps your recognize what enough is.  When you get there, these same actions and attributes will help you remain there.

Do you have enough?

Another variation on a familiar theme.

Listening requires more than your ears.

I want to believe that the feel good sounds and visions are more than feel good.

Sometimes we get so ahead of the game in our planning for the future that we miss opportunities that are right in front of us today. Planning is good, it's like a road map to help you navigate unfamiliar territory in order to reach some final destination. That destination or the arrival at it, is in the future. What's happening right now? Is there something that is right in front of you at this moment that can add value to your life or the lives of others immediately? You won't know if you're barreling ahead with your plan. Take a moment, breathe and ask, what can I learn in this moment that is useful for me or someone else right now? You may be surprised how both your now and your future can be enriched.

You call the number for technical support or (fill in the blank) and get the automated message "your estimated wait time is 3 (fill in the blank) minutes. What do you do during the wait time? Hang up? Keep the phone to your ear and wait patiently until the live person comes on or do something else while you're waiting? Waiting on an answer can involve any of the three at any given time.

Him, her, them, it, can include: the spouse/partner, children, parents, friends, co-workers, jobs, money and a myriad of stuff that exists outside of us. These are the things that some of us live for. I have done it, and in some aspects still do by making decisions, or completing actions based on something that is outside of me. I had to make the connection that I wasn't living for me but was living for people/stuff. Learning to live without stuff, especially in these economic times has become easier and subsequently made living for stuff a waste of my short time here. People on the other hand are tougher nuts to crack. Expectations, feelings, emotions and words come into play. Some of us live to see our dreams, hopes and expectations filled, through other people only to experience disappointment when the dream comes up empty. Yet what remains true always is that we can not exercise control over anyone but our selves. Controlling ourselves, living from within ourselves may be one of our biggest challenges. To do so requires, discipline, examination and experimentation before we can achieve a level of comfort and satisfaction with who we are, what is important and what our own purpose in life is.

I volunteer with AID Atlanta for AIDS 101. There is a minister who does a segment on AIDS and spirituality. During one of her sessions, she asked us how we practice our faith. The answers were all centered around for lack of a better phrase "religious titles", i.e. Christian, Muslim, Buddhism and denomination (I am Christian Baptist, I am Sunni Muslim) etc. No one caught what she was really asking, which what actions do we take to practice/honor what we believe? Is it prayer, honoring the earth, fasting, study etc? 

Waking up with good intentions is not enough. Once you put your feet on the floor the obstacles seemingly fly out of nowhere. Making good on your intentions requires, a solid plan, focus, skill, a readiness to make adjustments along the way and a willingness to ask for help when needed.