Inspired by a recent conversation.

I've heard a friend of mine, frequently over the years tell me that they were on their way to do something for someone.  From simple things like sitting with them during a storm to more complex things like set up a wireless network in someone's home who is not tech savvy.  Based on a recent conversation that started out with "what are you doing?" I got an answer, once again related to helping someone else.  So I asked does anyone ever help you?  The response was a story, as most answer are, stories or parables to illustrate a point (that's how this person speaks, always) but lost in the story on me was where a request for help was made. I asked again to circle back, "help me understand what this has to do with you asking for help." The response in a nutshell was that this person requested help from a group of people in order to help someone else.  Sounded like the formation of a project team to me and I stated such.  I asked have you ever asked for a ride somewhere or for anything?  I got two examples of requests for help -- two over a period of 39 years (the age of my friend).  This was mind boggling to me.  I asked again, why don't you ask for help?  This is what I got.

"Some people may not be available to help.

Some people say they will help but really don't mean it.

I just keep it low key.  I'm a strong person and hold myself accountable.  It's my bed and I have to lay in it."

Another boggle...

Then I ask, "would it be safe to say that you don't ask people for help because you don't trust their motivation for helping you?"  The response "yes for the most part". That's when my mind brought up a picture of a wolf -- The Lone Wolf.

I know a few of them.  They do a lot, for a lot of people.  They do wonderful tremendous things as well as simple beautiful things for others, but they don't ask for anything and always refuse when assistance is offered.  From observation (my own) these lone wolves are social, but really prefer to roll alone.  Gregarious and even witty in public, they are quite cerebral and often times calculating.  People who have any type of relationship with a lone wolf (professional, social or otherwise) have to understand that they will only entertain your presence for so long. They are not rude, but they are short with you when your allotted time is up. 

Why does the Lone Wolf exist? Are they born as such or do they adapt themselves and their lifestyles to become one based on their life experiences?

Do you know any Lone Wolves? Why do you think they are one?  How do you relate to one? Are you one?

Let me know in the comments.

Also enjoy this - one of my favorites: 

 Photo by Fremlin

Licensed under Creative Commons

I'm a small town girl at heart and proud of it.  I'm from a little place called Anderson, Indiana, population around 57,000.  Anderson is the place that I come from, it is a place that grounds me and it is the place that I call home.

Though I have lived in the south for 20 years, in New Orleans and the Atlanta metro, it is home that I appreciate the most. My mama and sisters are there.  My extended/adopted families are there and I know that whenever I get there I get wrapped in a blanket of love.  Certainly some of the changes that have taken place over the years are disheartening, the vacant lots, the absence of General Motors, the closure of schools, but there are many things that are beautiful, still about this place.  Home is a more diverse place.  It is now a place where you can hear more than just the English language.  My home county of Madison, was won by the 44th President, Barack Obama, which is something that I cannot say about my current county of residence, Gwinnett.  Most of all though, the people that remain, still maintain the values that are important, family and faith. 

When I go home I can see land as far as the eye can see. First of all, central Indiana is flat as a pancake.  Secondly, where I'm from, there's nary a skyscraper to interrupt your view.  There is no smog, and no place in town takes longer than 15 minutes to get to.  Coming from the A, the traffic and the smog, being home is a place where I can catch my breath, a place where I can breathe.  A place that gives me a break during the winter from all the allergy issues that are the bane of my existence in the A.

Some people run away from home in a sense.  Once they establish they're lives in another locale they forget about home, don't claim it, or even dog it.  That's something I could never do.  I'm proud of the little A, the original A in my life, Anderson, IN.  If you're ever nearby, go check it out.  You too will be able to breathe again when you get there.