Background Noise
Our background influences the way we think and behave. It’s lays a foundation for our belief systems, values and notions about the way things “out to be”. That foundation doesn’t always lead to doing things because that’s the way they’ve always been done, in fact sometimes that foundation can lead is on a directly opposite path from which we came. However, in my estimation more times than not, when it comes to thoughts and actions we rely heavily on what we already know and what we believe to be true at the time. What is challenging for me and maybe for you are those instances in which a new way to think or be or do is brought to my attention. My response to this “new thing” falls into one of three categories
Immediate Resistance
A lot of times the resistance isn’t even based on the content of what I’ve heard but is based on the provider of the content. If I have any preset notions about the provider (know it all, lecturer, talks to much etc.) then I’m going to resist, sometime vehemently whatever information that they are providing. I’m not thinking about the content at all. I’m thinking about the person. What’s wrong with that? What person X may be providing may have value. I cannot “hear” them because of my personal feelings. In this situation, feeling and emotion rob me of an opportunity to learn something of value. This something could be helpful to me or someone else that I share it with down the road. I don’t want to be a participant in a robbery. What has to happen when the messenger is a “problem” is that the focus has to be taken off of them taken off of the emotion and put on the message. That only comes through consciousness in which I ask myself am I resistant to this information because of the provider? If that is the case, then I have to detach and just listen.
Mulling Over
I don’t have anything attached to the person delivering the message which is a win in itself. I may be hearing the information but don’t necessarily understand the idea or how to perform the act. Maybe I think that what I’m hearing is good, but it appears to be too difficult to execute or require too much effort or is not a good fit for me. Mulling over is a good thing because it allows time to ask questions, gain a better understanding and ultimately make an informed decision. The trap of mulling over is when it goes on “too long” however long is and becomes a stumbling block to taking action.
Immediate Agreement
This can take on the same characteristics of Immediate Resistance. If the provider of the information is someone I trust/like/respect I can take to the idea like a fish to water. If what is presented to me isn’t really knew but a variation on something that I already think or do then I’m all for it, gung ho even. Agreement is good in general because it can advance an issue, a thought or an action. What is troublesome about immediate agreement are the same things that are troublesome to Immediate Resistance. Am I agreeing to or accepting what I’m hearing based on the way I feel/think about a person? Am I agreeing because this is the easiest thing to do? If either of those questions can be answered as “yes” then I need to back it up to “Mulling Over”
Why am I writing about this?
In this month of “Letting Go” I had to get beyond the obvious – the physical things that were intrusive in my life, the things that I know I didn’t need, the easy stuff and challenge myself to look at among many things my background. I had to ask myself, how heavily do I rely on what I already know, what my parents knew/did, friends etc before I learn, think, do or receive something new? What I learned is that I fall more in the first and third options than the middle. Which makes sense for me as an either or do or die type. Grey areas are not good for me, never have been. However, entering into “letting go” has begun to free me. Is this a work in progress, absolutely, but I’m determined to be more thoughtful/conscious and less background oriented go forward. What about you? How do you receive something new? Do you rely on your background or your emotions or are you conscious? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
