You may as well say that I ran here, considering it's location, no one in their right mind would pick it but whose to say I was in my right mind in the first place. I was 41 years old, starting over again and went for the first place with a big closet and a gas stove.  I had big plans too.  I was going to pick up painting again, write my first book and make it a man FREE zone.  None of those things happened, though I did make a few attempts at the book and started one painting.  What did happen was many things, both wonderful and terrible and it is because of the terrible that I have to go.

I'm not going far at all, just to a safer more visible spot, but just the same I'm moving, I loathe it.  The packing, the aching muscles, coordinating utilities, assembling a proper crew, is all a bit much for a middle age broad to deal with, but I am dealing, with some sadness.

For a moment last night, I felt deeply depressed, I only allowed a moment because there is so much work to do, however that all too familiar feeling was there.  Part of it was a sense that I'd been defeated. Defeated by those who chose to invade.  I felt as though, they won.  They forced me to abandon ship, even though abandoning ship in this case is absolutely the best thing to do.  I felt as though I'd missed the mark, in particular the book that was never written.  How does a person who is supposed to be a writer, not have at least one book under their belt, especially at my age. Finally I felt incredibly alone.  Don't get me wrong, I have received incredible help, I have a crew for moving day and things are set, yet I felt alone, I am alone.

I'm not one who is afraid of change, when it is for good, I'm positively for it. I know that this change is good, this change is not a big one, at all, it's just not one that I was prepared to make.  Hence the resistance.

When faced with situations of change in which we feel we have no control, or have some control but aren't quite ready, we begin to FEEL things, in my case it was depression, for some, it is confusion or loss or anger.  Whatever the case may be, it is important to acknowledge the feeling(s), view it for what it is -- a feeling and move on with the change at hand.  Though it may not feel good, the feeling is not what is important, what is important is the way that we choose to respond to the change.  If it's going to happen, regardless of all efforts to block it, it's best to accept it, keep it moving and look for the positive in the change.

I'm moving on, is it time for you to do the same?