As a little girl I loved Valentine's Day.The day before at school we would make these envelopes out of red and pink construction paper, decorate them and tape them onto our desks. The night before my mama would take me to the drug store to pick up those little boxes of Valentines and I would just enjoy myself writing them out and stuffing them in those little envelopes. My friends Valentines were addressed, my other classmates were not and that one special boy that I liked would get a special 'be mine' written on his.

On Valentine's Day we would break for a party to pass out our little cards, eat those heart shaped 'be mine' candies and other sugary confections. Fortunately for me I was liked well enough that I never went home empty handed like Charlie Brown. I couldn't wait to get home on that day.

Once home all of the Valentines were opened and I could see whether the one I fancied fancied me back. I can't recall if he did, plus most of the little boys were more mannish as we used to say than romantic.  Funny how some things just don't change.

I had a few boyfriends through high school and college. For the most part those cats were hit or miss on V Day. In fact I think I can count on one hand how many flowers or boxes of sweets I've received. I lamented my lack of Valentine loot so much through the years that my mama would send me candy on that day. Guess you can say she's my one true love. Then I got me a permanent Valentine, a husband. Surely the V Day drought would end with marriage.

I was dead wrong.

Now I got a few dinners over the years and a couple of cards and then in the latter years came the excuse 'Valentine's Day is a man made holiday to make men spend money on shit women don't need." (got it at Christmas a few times as well).

That pretty much shut it down for me.

I have worked with some thoughtful gents over the years who bring all the ladies in the office a flower or candy and I always appreciate it. Because it shows some effort. In fact I got a little box on my desk right now ;-)

Most of us hear the term in reference to a person, that is admired, respected, loved etc for having the appearance of having it all. Brains, beauty, family, money, health.  The word appearance is critical because without having a personal relationship with that person, it would be difficult truly to determine if that person has the "total package."  Even with relationship, we can still be fooled. We all know that appearances can be deceiving.  What may be walking and quacking like  duck could actually be a vulture.  What appears beautiful and put together can really be falling apart. Upon further evaluation then, maybe we should reconsider this terminology.

The world that we live in is not an all or nothing world.  For a person to possess in total is not only an impractically, it is a falsehood.  The glorious thing about this life is that we don't have it all, we can't get it all and we certainly don't know it all.  In a way I'm reminded of the Adam and Eve story about not eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Because of the trickster, the serpent appealing to our wanting nature, Eve and subsequently Adam ate, because they wanted it all.

Think of it this way. If given the opportunity to have it all, to be the total package, (whatever that means to you), upon receiving it, what would you do? You'd figure out that all isn't all it's cracked up to be, so you'd be left wanting, once again.  I'd like us to consider some different terminology -- satisfied and enough.

I'm not treading on new territory here.  Yet, I think it may be time for a little reinforcement.  Some of us are in a holiday frame of mind, giving gifts, going to parties and such.  During the holiday season, tons of money is spent on giving to people who likely have enough.  They don't realize it, neither do we but we aim to please and aim to show our love/admiration or gratitude to others by showering them with gifts.  Don't get me wrong, giving is a beautiful thing.  I believe that part of our duty on earth is to give, but to give to excess or to financial detriment is silly and even wasteful. During this holiday season consider giving a gift of a different sort, a hug, a smile, a song, some time or by telling someone that you love them. 

The "total package" and "having it all" are ideals that are unreachable.  What is reachable is satisfaction with who you are, with whom or what love, and your impact on the world around you.  You could always do or get more, but on that day when you can say "I don't need to/I don't need that" congratulations, you have reached, enough.