Rules of Engagement for Folks of a Certain Age
I just love people. Those who talk a lot give you plenty to ponder and consult the universe about. I was in conversation with some approaching AARP age. The gentleman, a dolo is looking for someone to become part of a duo. I asked him how do you get to know a person at this age? He said "well you don't get to know someone by talking on the phone all the time you have to engage."
What does that mean? When and how do you do it?
Dolos, duos and marrieds of a certain age have a lifestyle they are maintaining. For some that lifestyle is centered around work. The middle years between 35-55 are the "peak earnings" years when most folks will make their biggest chunk of money. These folks are about making that dollar, for now, for their childrens education and or for retirement. Stacking chips is it. The remainder of life is centered around work (family or not).
There's another group of folks partnered or dolo whose lives are centered around their children. They are shuttling children to school, practice, games, doctors, what have you. They don't have a whole lot of time for much else because they're children's schedules are so jam-packed.
Then there's this group, primarily encompassing the dolos (though some partners do the same, much to the chagrin of their signficant). There lives are centered around activities, social, civic, political etc. They go from one meeting, to the next mixer, to the next seminar. Their schedule is jam packed and usually their home is the place where they sleep, bathe and little else.
Finally there's a group of folks who have settled in. They don't hang out much, their schedule is not jam-packed, their kids are either grown, living with their former partner or they don't have any. Their life is simple and they pretty much dig it the way that it is and don't want anyone messing with their time, even if that time is spent lounging watching sports or gossiping on the phone (or social media).
Given these four groups of people and their lifestyles what are the rules of engagement? For those who are duos, how do you engage your partner i.e. "keep it hot" when you have so much going on? For those who are dolo looking to go duo, what is your approach, given the circumstances and lifestyles of potential partners of a certain age? Let me know in the comments.
