The Church of the Rebelleft at the Fork
I stand at the crossroads again. What I believe to be true in my Faith and what I see to be true in people are so often irreconcilable. For people of faith, you know that we are made in the image of God, but let me tell you that the images I see in “the body” don’t look to be of God. I do not exclude myself from this discussion. As I struggle daily walking the fence between the sacred and the profane to think about it that fence walking is more than daily. I walked it hour by hour and minute by minute. If you have been reading the blogs, the tweets and so on, you know EXACTLY what I mean for the most part. You know what I’m about. The same mouth that proclaims that Jesus is Lord is the same mouth that can string together a series of F-Bombs into an essay, read you the riot act and not even flinch. Knowing my foibles, knowing my struggles and knowing that others struggle as well but won’t lay it out there bare pains me.
There is a front that is put on, that church face, the hallelujah praise the Lord church face that is on for “the body” to see but in the home, in the street, on the job there may be a “whole nother animal” that exists. When the church face is off all manner of things are done and said that are in direct conflict with what is taught in the faith. The fronting is even more pronounced when it is done at the level of leadership. We know it’s all a front when we witness the fall. Deacons, Ministers, Pastors, Bishops, you know the deal. These are the folks that bring the word of God on Saturday or Sunday morning and at the same time covets his neighbor’s wife and maybe even takes her to bed. She’s the Pastor who steals money from the church, he’s the Deacon who undresses you with his eyes. Then there’s the more subtle types, the ones who don’t indulge in drinking, smoking, sexing and what have you, but their pride and ambition takes their eyes from the hills from which comes their help, but puts their eyes on how many more members can they can get, how many more buildings can be built, how many more ministries can be created. It is these things that are troubling the church of the rebelleft at this time. I spend time in prayer, I spend time in the counsel of those I trust, yet I do not have an answer to my dilemma. How do I reconcile the imperfection of man with the perfection of God? Is holiness an impossibility? I had a dear friend tell me that the pressure I put on myself was absolutely over the limit. She told me that I was not Jesus. She just as well could have hit me over the head. That made sense, but knowing I’m not Jesus still doesn’t make the living easier, the desire to do right by people easier, nor lessen the amount of disappointment in people that happens daily.
I need a resolution.
