I was telling a story Saturday night about something that I had experienced in college.  It was a situation where I felt that I had been done wrong. I had done something for sure, but based on previous experience I felt that I should not have been treated so harshly.  This particular incident left such a bad taste in my mouth that it took me 17 years (finally got that number right) before I could see fit to let that thing go. You know what it is, it’s called a grudge.

I felt justified in my grudge trust me. Later information came out that I had been lied to about how it really went down and what decisions were made. That sent me into orbit and I made a promise to myself that I would NEVER revisit that thing ever again in my life.  What is true now in 2009 is that I did revisit it. Had I not, I never would have been able to move on.

Recognizing my participation in the mess was the first step, if I’d not been there and done that I would have not found myself in such a sticky situation.  Secondly I had to understand that why decisions were made in the manner that they were was irrelevant. Third, I had to forgive, that was the hardest part, because part of that equation was forgiving myself not only for the mistake but for holding onto it and the aftermath for so long.

Are you holding a grudge? Do you know what you’re missing out on? Should it matter? Yes absolutely. What you have already missed is the chance to connect and engage, to discover and learn, to benefit and to be beneficial. Why give up all of those things to hang on to something that doesn’t serve you or anyone else.

Let’s end the grudge match today.